To my girl, Lucy. I hope you will read this someday when you need some good advice. You don't need all these life lessons yet, and I'm thankful that you're not there yet. Inspired by one of my favorite childrens books, Dear Girl, which every girl (big and small) needs on her bookshelf.
Dear Girl. Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful, but don't sacrifice being comfortable. Don't ever wear shorts or a dress you have to keep pulling down because it's riding up, a shirt you keep having to pull up because it's falling down, or shoes that hurt your feet. It's not worth it. Modesty is way cooler and sexier than showing off your body. If you are wearing tight dresses and showing a lot of skin, you are going to attract creepos - and they are going to think you're trying to attract them. If you are dressed modestly in a way that makes you feel confident, you will shine like the sun - AND you will attract the right kind of guy (someday) because the beauty is on the INSIDE. Rule of thumb: If you're showing more skin on the bottom, cover up on the top. If you're showing more skin on the top, cover up on the bottom. Don't show it all. Wear colors that bring out your eyes and your skin tone, clothing items that bring out your best features, and ALWAYS wear the right shoes for the right activity. Limping by the end of the day is not cute or fun.
Dear Girl. Value quality over quantity. Spend a little more on something you'll wear all the time instead of something that doesn't cost much that you'll wear a few times. And when it comes to friendships, it doesn't matter HOW many friends you have but how GOOD of friends they are.
Dear Girl. Your skin is so beautiful. I'd like to say that you should never wear makeup, but I know someday you will, and that's okay - I love makeup too! But keep it natural on the day to day. A little mascara and lip gloss is all you need (and it's quick and easy). Save all the fancy makeup for special events when you really want to make a statement. You don't want everyone to say "WOW" when aren't wearing makeup because you look so different from wearing it all the time. You want everyone to say "WOW" every once in awhile when you get dressed up on a special occasion and do your makeup perfectly to accentuate your beautiful features.
Dear Girl. Your skin is beautiful the color that it is. Don't ever wish your skin was darker or lighter - God made you beautiful the way you are. Keep that skin beautiful by taking care of it - wear sunscreen, hats, and sunglasses. You don't think you'll ever get wrinkles, but you will. But you'll get less if you take care of your skin.
Dear Girl. Your pimples will go away if you don't mess with them. I'm serious! And there's an actual proper way to pop one if it's one that actually needs to be popped. Ask me and I'll show you. And try not to touch your face - it will give you MORE pimples. Drink water and eat healthy and that will help keep your face clear too.
Dear Girl. Treat your body with care. Feed it good food (that means a LOT of vegetables). You'll feel better. Drink LOTS of water. Any other drink besides water should be a treat, not a regular. And when you eat too much junk food, or chocolate, or nachos one day, just eat a lot of extra veggies and drink a lot of water the next day.
Dear Girl. We ALL have hair where we don't want it - you're not the only one.
Dear Girl. When you're feeling down (because we all do from time to time - especially during the winter), you may not feel like it - but do one or all of the following:
-go outside
-talk to me
-talk to a friend
-do something you love
-get some exercise
-give your pets some love
-PRAY
-up your vitamin d
Dear Girl. Do you know what makes people like you? Being YOU. Don't try to be like your friends. Find inspiration from your friends. That's why they are your friends - because there are things you like about them. Find things in common with your friends and appreciate your differences. You'll never be happy if you're trying to be like other people. And life would be so boring if we were all the same.
Dear Girl. Keep being weird. We are all weird. That's what makes us cool.
Dear Girl. If your friends are ignoring you or leaving you out, take a break from those friends and find some new friends. And when it happens (because it will), just know that means there are some new friends God wants to be in your life - and you won't find them if you're waiting around for your other friends to include you. It doesn't mean you have to end your friendship - just spend your time with people who treat you with respect.
Dear Girl. There are going to be people who you don't mesh with and that's ok. You don't have to be everyone's friend. But you do need to treat everyone with kindness and respect.
Dear Girl. Find friends that will answer when you call (or text). Find friends who care about you and want the best for you. Find friends that stand up for you. Find friends that stand up for someone when they're getting picked on. Find friends that make you laugh, but who you can also cry with when you need a good cry (because you will). Find friends who listen to you and encourage you to follow your dreams!
Dear Girl. It's important to do good at school and try your best, but it's more important to be a good person. Your people skills and your integrity will take you farther in life than straight A's.
Dear Girl. Taking care of your mind is JUST as important as taking care of your body. And don't ever feel stupid about talking to someone about your problems. Talk to me, Dad, a friend, a school counselor, your doctor, your brothers; someone you can trust. It's not good to hold it all in!
Dear Girl. Social media is fun, but it's scary too. Think before you post. You can delete or a post or a comment, but you can't delete your reputation. Your reputation is permanent. Better yet, before you post, check with me first. And social media can really mess with our minds too. After a glance at your feed, it may seem like everyone's having more fun than you, but remember, nobody's posting about all the boring or lame stuff they do - they are only posting the exciting things. And usually the people who are posting the most are actually the most insecure in real life. Use social media for inspiration and to keep in touch with friends - but don't let it take over your life. And don't let how many "likes" you get make or ruin your day.
Dear Girl. If you get that icky feeling in the pit of your stomach - that's intuition. Listen to it. Don't ever go along with something when you have that feeling - it won't end well. In this case, don't worry about hurting someones feelings. Worry about getting yourself out of the situation. It's okay to say no. It's okay to scream NO! Or it's okay to just want to come home.
Dear Girl. Never stop trying new things (and trying things again). I used to not like pickles and now I do. You're going to miss out on good things in life if you stop trying new things.
Dear Girl. Always stick up for your brothers, and they'll do the same for you. Family comes first. Apologize and make up, over and over again. Forgive them and they'll forgive you. Same goes for your friends.
Dear girl. Stay wild and adventurous. I know you love to stay inside and color and do projects and bake cookies. Me too. Keep doing all that stuff that brings you joy. But go outside. Explore the outdoors, go camping and hiking and do all the things that bring you outside. Because you'll feel alive and invigorated and inspired and refreshed when you're in nature. Make sure to notice God everywhere you look - it's not hard.
Dear Girl. Talk to God. When you don't have a friend to talk to or you don't want to talk to me (you always can!), talk to God. When you're scared about something, just remember that God tells us not to fear. He's got it. It doesn't mean it'll be easy, so much of life is not easy. But if He puts us through it, He knows we can handle it. So lean on him. And know that when one door closes, another door opens.
Dear Girl. Remember you come from long line of amazing, creative, strong, funny, fun, caring women. And you can always look to them for inspiration when you need it (even though some are already in heaven.) Oh - and they're pretty amazing at making delicious food too. You should carry on that tradition.
Love you so much my dear girl Lucy. I could go on forever but this will have to do for now.
XOXO Mom
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